Rocknrolla

10 01 2010

Un russe veut construire. Un anglais peut lui vendre le permis de construire. Une bombasse d’avocate de 30 ans s’ennuie. Et quelques malfrats arrondissent leurs fins de mois ou bien tentent de régler leurs dettes.

rocknrolla

Guy Ritchie est une sorte de cousin de Luc Besson (Besson a malgré tout réaliser Subway ou le Grand Bleu), son cinéma est tout sauf très malin, bourré de poncifs, le culte de l’argent y est toujours présent, tout est présenté sous une vision simpliste, les dialogues sont creux, sorte de vision idéalisée et fantasmée du banditisme, d’un mode de vie à la cool. Film de faux rebelles pour faux rebelles. Aussi crédible que Pierre Sarkozy en producteur de Rap. Vous l’aurez compris le film ne m’a pas enthousiasmé. Cet humour de pub anglais, qui tente par tous les moyens de se rapprocher d’un Tarantino ou des frères Coen, n’a rien pour lui.

L’histoire est vide, on la gonfle artificiellement pour estomaquer le chaland. Mais tout est artificiel, Guy Ritchie vit dans un rêve, le rêve que Snatch et Crimes et Botaniques aient fait de lui un grand réalisateur. Il le croit très certainement, et le pire, outre qu’il soit apprécié, c’est qu’il puisse être imité et qu’il fasse des petits. Nivellement par le bas quand tu nous tiens.

Ce cousin de Banlieue 13 ultimatum (avec quelques dollars en plus ce dernier aurait suivi le même chemin) ne vaut rien, ce film est bête, il se veut original mais il ne l’est pas, il se veut comique, mais nous ne sommes pas des veaux. Faux film de rebelles, faux film drôle, faux film cool, faux dialogues, faux mise en scène, faux scénario, faux rebondissement, fausse crédibilité des acteurs, fausse valeur et vraie arnaque.

Sur ce, je m’en vais de ce pas envoyer une lettre à l’anthrax à celui qui me l’a conseillé.

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202 réponses à “Rocknrolla”

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  1. 13 04 2010
    un faux spectateur (16:54:42) :

    « Faux film de rebelles, faux film drôle, faux film cool, faux dialogues, faux mise en scène, faux scénario, faux rebondissement, fausse crédibilité des acteurs, fausse valeur et vraie arnaque. »
    di diou… t’y va fort… n’écoutez pas cette critique ce film est joussif !!! Pour preuve personne ne l’aime !! c’est donc un gage de qualité quand on voit les succès au box office… faut le prendre comme il vient sans réfléchir…
    Rocknrolla Baby !!!!

  2. 13 04 2010
    faussesvaleurs (19:17:06) :

    Info merci.
    Je suis d’accord avec tout ce que tu viens de dire sauf le « n’écoutez pas cette critique », là je trouve que tu y vas fort.
    Mais en effet ce film il faut le prendre sans réfléchir. l’inverse pourrait etre dangereux.

  3. 21 05 2010
    Wolvy (00:14:35) :

    « Besson a malgré tout réaliser Subway ou le Grand Bleu »
    Il a aussi et surtout réalisé LE 5E ÉLÉMENT ! LEON ! NIKITA ! ETC ETC ETC.
    :-/
    « Ce cousin de Banlieue 13 ultimatum »
    T’es sur d’avoir vu Rocknrolla ?

  4. 21 05 2010
    Wolvy (00:27:22) :

    En effet « un faux spectateur », ce film est purement jouissif. Et ce à l’instar de TOUS les autres films de gangsters de Guy Ritchie (sauf peut-être Revolver).

  5. 21 05 2010
    faussesvaleurs (00:30:45) :

    Tu me fends le coeur …
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  6. 9 12 2010
    Sam (14:42:49) :

    Tiens, je m’en vais de ce pas altier et néanmoins outrecuidant poser ma (modeste, mais quand même) pierre à l’édifice du susdit faux spectateur: ce film vaut ce qu’il vaut aux yeux miteux et embrumés d’une certaine clique de malentendants obnubilés par un cinéma nombriliste et prise de chou, mais il n’empêche que comme cité ci-avant la chose est jouissive. Pas orgasmique, je le concède, et a contrario de Snatch ou de Botanique – qui, eux, tirent clairement vers l’éjaculation sismique devant grand écran – mais joussif tout de même.
    L’histoire se laisse suivre sans complexe, le scénario est gibolinisé aux petits soins version découpage britannique comme eux seuls savent le faire (pour les ceusses qui prétendraient que c’est un cinéma sous-tarentinesque, je propose allègrement qu’ils revoient leurs classiques, les lois de l’évolution allant dans le sens contraire – les British étant faiseurs de bijoux cinématographiques bien avant que ledit Tarantino ne coule son premier bronze…); la mise en scène, les dialogues et l’intrigue sont d’un dynamisme et d’une efficacité à faire pâlir d’envie un tortionnaire de la Stasi dans le feu de l’action; l’action, justement, est au garde à vous et n’a pas besoin de 3D pour péter à la gueule du spectateur ébaubi; et in fine, l’humour british, savant mélange d’auto-dérision, de cynisme, d’absurde, de flegme indestructible et de tarte à la crème est bien au rendez-vous. Que demander de plus, sinon une bonne binche et quelques peanuts pour s’envouer derrière le plastron et rigolant comme un bossu?
    Et pour les autres, les susdits endimanchés décaféïnés du bulbe qui n’ont de compréhension ciné que l’insistance qu’ils mettent à détruire avec systématique tout ce qui est original et sympathique, il reste toujours la possibilité de contempler avec délice quelques abscons Godards ou mythiques Ozu… Qu’ils se délectent à l’envi, personnellement je n’échangerai pas les derniers nommés contre un baril d’Ariel, même avec cadeau Bonux inclus. Je reste donc avec mes frites belges et mes Rosbifs saignants à point, et j’enjoins tout internaute visiteur (malencontreux) de ce blogue à en faire autant…
    Salut.

  7. 9 12 2010
    faussesvaleurs (16:53:08) :

    Bonne idée Sam, je vais me zieuter un Godard suivi d’un Ozu.
    Tu devrais être programmateur, le carton serait assuré.
    Après concernant ton sens de l’humour (au cinéma j’entends) il me fait un peu peur.

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